I hear they’re wanting smoking back
allowed in pubs and clubs
to revitalise our social scenes
laid waste by smoker snubs
It seems our smoke dependants
with their ashtray and their butt
have left too many empty seats
all pubs and clubs will shut
Our venue’s once so full of fun
left despondently to sag
by demanding all the smokers
nip outside to have a fag
For crying out loud the smoker coughs
it contravenes our human right
our only pastime idle pleasure
maybe one or two each night
We don’t care that smoking kills us
everyone must surely die
We know tons of healthy puffers
who buck the trend and death defy
So leave us puff our poison pipe
amid the throngs and masses
bring atmosphere to every hall
with clouds of nicotine gasses
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